Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Say something about gay babies.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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