She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
