I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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