I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
fuck your aforementioned shoe
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
