Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I showed him my bush... on skype.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
