so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
