there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
