Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I have aggressive nipples.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
