I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
