The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
