talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
