I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
