whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
