I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
