Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
