I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
