dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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