Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
