Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
