I think i peed on brittanys purse
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
