covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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