dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he was CRYING into my vagina
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
