hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
