i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
