Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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