I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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