she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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