Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
