oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
