you traded sex for a burrito?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Randomize
