I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
