So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
