you mean i was at the winter classic?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
