WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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