Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
