somebody snuck up and got me drunk
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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