Your dad touched me again.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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