okay pat passed out under dana's car
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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