Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
