You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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