i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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