Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
