Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
