At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just want nice things and good sex
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
