You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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