How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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