why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
