Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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