when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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