dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
it's like heaven, but drunker
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
