It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
