The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
