Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
