Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
