im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
